It seems a large group of jackasses intend to do a lot of braying on February 26.
1:13 PM
Recycling Update The recycling of the outdated and cumbersome fed-regs was not as exciting as I had hoped. The binding was harder to remove than I had anticipated, and while I had envisioned the stack of papers gracefully descending into the recycling bin in quite an orchestrated performance, fluidly cascading down in a spiraling fashion, what really happened was just a sort of dull thud as a big stack of paper with finely printed gibberish hit the blue plastic bottom of the bin. Not to say it wasn't still the highlight of my workday, because it was. I'll sure be glad to get home.
12:49 PM
Hmmmm
I have a delightful new habit: afternoon coffee. I've been forgoing the morning coffee and making a fresh pot right after lunch, which I enjoy while feasting on the day's proteinaceous bar. It's working out rather well.
Today I am full of questions. What is my purpose? Why do I keep getting jobs I hate? Who do the oily ones think they are? Why does 'Dreaux scratch so? And what makes bastard cabbage such a hardy, hardy weed? Perhaps a more relevant and cohesive line of questioning would be as follows: Did Tuck-n-Roll really roll over a skunk last night? If so, is the skunk carcass pictured the actual carcass? I suspect that there is some truth to this tale, as well as some fiction. But which is which?
The switch from the traditional standby of Community Dark Roast to other consumer-grade brands is not a decision to be taken lightly. I knew that Olé crap from HEB was bad, but I didn't realize how bad until I went back to the CDR, my warm-hearted comforting old friend. While even I recognize that it's not the world's best coffee, it's quality-to-price ratio is unparalleled among widely available pre-ground coffees. I could buy even more of this fine product with your contributions. Just a thought.
On my desk lies a copy of 40 CFR Part 60. I am going to remove and discard it's plastic binding, then deposit it's many many pages into my recycling bin. This will be the highlight of my day. I must prepare myself emotionally and physically for this. A report will be made after the task is completed. So begins the afternoon's toil...
11:29 AM
Thursday, February 20, 2003
I really was serious about wanting money. It has been over an hour, yet I'm not yet deluged in dollars.
I'm a very quality- and service-oriented shopper. You can be comfortable in knowing that your hard-earned contributions to me will not be squandered at low-calibre businesses. Also, unlike the chick in the article, I will START getting weekly manicures, in order to have a more pleasant appearance that will benefit all who see my sparkling nails and well-cared for hands. Your contributions are not for me, but for society. Every dollar that comes my way is a dollar that will benefit the greater good. Thank you for your time. I look forward to spending your money.
12:40 PM
I'm not just blogging, now I'm blogging and begging for money. I'm completely serious. Please send me money. I am very skilled at the spending of money. You can rest assured that your donation will be spent very carefully and only on high-quality products and services from responsible purveyors. Further information available upon request. For donations and inquiries, please emailme at LeBaroness@thedoghousemail.com. Even the smallest donations will be well-received, so don't hesitate. Give me money today!
10:11 AM
Wednesday, February 19, 2003 Democrats Discover Constitution
I'll be glad when they realize none of their bullshit social-engineering crap is authorized by the Constitution and change their evil, evil ways. But I won't be holding my breath...
And so begins another attack on my drug of choice.
I will not attempt to establish the safety of ephedra, but I will bring up a few points.
"The finding rekindled concerns over the safety of ephedra and calls for tighter control of the popular diet supplement by federal regulators." Federal regulation is not exactly what one could call safe and effective.
"Bechler, 23, had been taking Xenadrine, an over-the-counter dietary supplement containing the stimulant ephedra, and it probably contributed to his death, said Dr. Joshua Perper, the Broward County, Fla., medical examiner. "
The article then goes on for several paragraphs expounding on the evils of ephedra, complete with requisite mentions of Congress and Major League Baseball. Six paragraphs of this later, we find the following:
"His body temperature was 108 degrees, about 10 degrees above normal.
High blood pressure and liver abnormalities also contributed to Bechler's death, Perper said. A bottle of Xenadrine was found in his locker, officials said.
Toxicology test results won't be available for two or three weeks, but Perper said Bechler was believed to have taken three Xenadrine tablets before his Sunday workout. There was no trace of solid food in Bechler's digestive tract, Perper said, suggesting he had been following a strict diet.
The lack of food, combined with the stimulants and the relatively warm weather -- 80 degrees -- when he collapsed probably led to his death, Perper said.
"At this time, I don't have a complete or sufficient degree of toxicology results that I can say precisely what was in the blood and at what levels," Perper said. "But it's very difficult to believe in view of all the circumstances that anything else was really of importance."
So this dude took more than the recommended dosage, on an empty stomach, then commenced vigorous exercise in relatively warm weather, but the real problem is not enough regulation? Try as they might, governments have yet to find a way to legislate common sense.
Ephedra might be bad stuff, but is there really any need for all the witchhunting? To those who are shrieking for a ban on ephedra (and cigarettes, salt, fat, and, coming soon, water), here's an idea. Don't take it and advise your friends and family not to take it. Then try to take responsibility for your own life and quit begging for more fed-regs.
Tuesday, February 18, 2003 My Recent Conversion to Animal Rights Protester
I will make it my business to speak out against any vile bastards that would maliciously antagonize a defenseless animal! I'm not just doing this for me, but for 'Dreaux as well. There will be those who question my motives. They will call me power-hungry, imperialistic, and, if they are really feeling thoughtful and creative, they will call me "stupid." They will say I'm after oil. But nonetheless I must persevere.
War Protesters A quick look at the cardboard sign will show that these unwashed junkies are not protesting war at all.
And one more thing... Why is it that a "splinter group" is alluded to? When one anti-abortion protester, out of millions, makes the hypocritical choice to kill someone, that person is then portrayed as representing the pro-life movement as a whole. In the interest of fairness, peaceful protestors should be portrayed the same way. But in their case, the "splinter group" is more representative of their movement as a whole.
9:14 AM
