Forget about the soldiers and their loved ones, for here is a tale of true heroic sacrifice!
Normally healthy and vigorous, Deborah Dashow Ruth of Kensington has developed a case of shingles, her ulcer is acting up, and her head has been throbbing since the United States invaded Iraq a week ago. (Please note that I am typing through the tears I am shedding for this poor, poor woman.)
Ruth, a 62-year-old writer, doesn't watch television and has even stopped listening to National Public Radio, but that hasn't helped quell her anger over what she sees as an unjust war.
"I find myself lashing out at my husband -- and he agrees with me!" Ruth said. She ascribes her current health problems to the intense emotions the war has provoked. "Just as Iraq was invaded by the viral Republican administration,
I have been invaded by these viral Republican conditions," she said.
Some people might cold-heartedly dismiss the sufferings of this unfortunate woman. Being an enlightened and sensitive woman of the world, I think Ms. Ruth deserves an award for courageously sitting in her home in California watching sanitized snippets of the war on TV.
Thus, the Pile of Steaming Terrier Excrement Award for this week goes to this worthless, bitching, carbon-wasting sack of shit, I mean, this distinguished lady, Ms.Deborah Dashow Ruth.
Also, the runner up for the PSTE Award goes to the SF Chronicle, for risking their necks to bring us the news that really matters. I encourage all with strong stomachs to read the entire article.
The American personality might be characterized as an easygoing, sentimental, fair-minded ruthlessness. We tie yellow ribbons 'round the old oak tree at the same moment we dispatch a wing of B-52s to carpet-bomb the enemy. No murderer in the world gets as many appeals from his conviction as an American murderer. But when we have finished being fair (about the same length of time that a French murderer has to spend in prison before being released), we fry him. More recently, to show our gentle side, we have taken to killing our murderers with a painless lethal injection. Even amongst our law-abiding citizens, we shock the Europeans with both our generosity and ferocity. We provide for every kid with a pulse to go to college, and then let them sink or swim in the workplace. American workers are lucky to get two weeks of vacation a year, and if an American is out of work, he is, after a few months, out of luck. In 1996, we repealed the right to welfare payments. Poor people in America have the choice of going to work or going to hell. A few nitwit school boards have outlawed dodgeball: but for most Americans dodgeball is a way of life -- and we aim at the head. Europeans, on the other hand, only permit a fraction of their students to go to college, but then coddle their lazy population with lifetime-guaranteed maintenance and a month and a half of vacation for those who choose to work. Americans consider it a compliment to be called a cowboy. The French take it as an insult.
This is a long, wordy article, but one word is conspicuously left out. This bastard's original middle name is FIDEL, as CNN reports.
So his name has been changed, his mamma raised him to be a good boy, he doesn't drink or swear, Islam is a religion of peace, yada yada yada, but ABC's deliberate omission of it makes one wonder. Yes, it's insignificant, but it is given significance by ABC's leaving it out. Could there perhaps be bias afoot from ABC, from which more Americans get their news than from any other source?
9:39 AM
While there is unquestionably a correlation between environmental degradation and political unrest, there is absolutely no evidence that one causes the other.
"Suppose you ask some politician who doesn't care at all about the environment what the biggest trouble spots are in the world. They'll say Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Rwanda, Nepal, Haiti, Indonesia, the Philippines, Somalia. There's one list," he says. "Then you ask an environmentalist who doesn't read the newspaper. . . . The lists are the same, and this makes the point that the countries weakened by environmental problems make trouble politically."
No, this does not make the point at all. Let's go a step further. Ask some economist who has no interest in politics or environmentalism to name the countries in the world with the least economic freedom for their citizens. This list would be the same, and this makes the point that countries with economically oppressed citizens have environmental problems, due to the lack of incentive for preservation or conservation, and political problems, due to the inherent difficulties of totalitarian police states. People who are starving and aware that they might be gassed by their dictator at any moment are not likely to be terribly concerned about what they can do to reduce pollution.
Mr. Diamond needs to learn to think things through a little better. Just because two events occur simultaneously, that doesn't mean that one causes the other. Using Mr. Diamond's logic, spilled milk is caused by broken glass. The fact that someone dropped a glass of milk, causing both the spillage and the breakage, would be conveniently ignored.
10:12 AM
