Friday, June 06, 2003 Dear LeBaroness DEAR ABBY: Please help me. I need to know if I should
approach another mother about why my 10-year-old son
was not invited to her son's birthday party.
We have lived in our close-knit neighborhood for three
years. All of the other children on our street were
invited, and they told my son all about it at school
the next day. Now he feels left out and sad. Until
now, he thought he was good friends with the birthday
boy.
I know this sort of thing happens, but for a mother to
organize a party and knowingly exclude one child
doesn't seem right. How should I handle it, Abby? --
SMALL-TOWN MOM IN IOWA
Dear Small-
It may have been an oversight, or it may have been deliberate. What would make you happy? An insincere apology if it was deliberate? A heartfelt apology if it wasn't? Either way, the birthday party was still missed and there isn't much you can do about it. If your neighborhood is as close-knit as you say it is, and she had a good reason for not inviting your son, she should have told you why he wasn't invited, but she certainly isn't obligated to. Children are fickle, and there is no intrinsic right to attend children's birthday parties. The subject should be dropped. If, however, you notice your son being excluded in the future, you wouldn't be out of line to ask why, in a non-confrontational way. You would be out of line to argue with any answer you get. Again, there's no law or commandment requiring children to associate with all other children.
2:42 PM
Wednesday, June 04, 2003 Dear LeBaroness
DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Hank," and I are in our late
20s and have been married five years. We have two
children. On the surface everything is great; however,
our marriage is falling apart because of my husband's
addiction to pay-per-view pornographic movies. Hank
doesn't understand why the $600 he spent on these
dirty movies over the past year has affected me. Our
sex life has dwindled to almost nothing, which makes
me feel inadequate as a wife. We're also trying to
save money for a house.
I cringe each month when I open the cable bill -- and
each month we have the same discussion that goes
nowhere. Tonight I told Hank if he continues his habit
it would end our marriage. He said, "Whatever. I'm not
having this conversation now." What can I do, Abby? --
HAD IT WITH HANK
Dear Had-
Your marriage is already over. Make it official. And take him to the proverbial cleaners.
DEAR ABBY: I have been living with "Ken" for seven
years. On two occasions in the past few months, he has
told me he's dating someone else. Each time, Ken
allowed me to believe it for more than an hour. Then
he admitted he was "putting me on" -- that he was only
testing me to see if I really loved him.
We were already having problems, and this "game" has
caused me to doubt our future together. When Ken
realized how upset and manipulated I felt, he
apologized and said he regretted ever making such a
statement.
I am trying to believe him and forgive him, but I'm
having a hard time. Am I wrong for having doubts about
him? -- ANGRY AND CONFUSED IN THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST
Dear Angry-
He might very well be seeing someone else and just decided when he saw your (I assume unfavorable) reaction to recant his statement. Or he's just a jackass. Either way, the best place for Ken is curbside, so please place him there.
2:21 PM
