Hopefully this mayonnaise-loving nut will simply go to jail for many, many years and that will be the end of it. But if not it will be interesting to see how she blames the entire incident on McDonald's, as she strikes me as the type that would.
Wednesday, December 03, 2003 You Know How They Do It In B-Town (Part 2)
Yesterday I told you about the things I don't have. Today I will tell you about the things I do have that disqualify me from polite company.
I have:
1. Books
2. Auto insurance (and proof of same)
3. the ability to walk into a gas station, grocery store, or produce stand, make a purchase, then leave, without attempting to cash a paycheck or asking the cashier "can ya spot me?"
4. unmodified, factory taillights
5. a belief that a person's ownership of a bit of money does not automatically translate to the right of that person's friends/relatives to "borrow" said money, be it necessary for trailer payments, bail bonds, or what have you
Tuesday, December 02, 2003 You Know How They Do It In B-Town (Part 1)
First, let it be known that I'm a nobody, a nothing in Biloxi. This is true for many reasons, but the most important are listed here.
I don't have a:
1. Double-wide
2. Camaro
3. Passel of brats (note: number of "baby daddy's" should be no less than number of brats)
4. unemployed sibling living with me
5. pack of unspayed/un-neutered, un-vaccinated, never-bathed, un-collared, un-licensed, free-roaming, untrained purebred dogs (must be purebred, ideally from non-reputable breeder or puppy mill, and should number no fewer than five)
That's what I don't have. In Part Two, we'll learn about the things I have that make me unworthy.
11:03 AM
