The level of stupidity is beyond comprehension. The inability to grasp basic concepts is staggering. The pervasive incompetence is jaw-dropping. The fashion sense is appalling. The attention to personal hygiene is negligible. The ability to annoy is without limit. The stench is unbearable. The asininity knows no bounds. The functional incompetency boggles the mind. The sense of self-righteous self-importance is overwhelming. The mindlessness is astonishing.
Yes, dear reader, it’s time to talk about the ole job, and the horrors therein.
Yes, the dreaded coworkers. You know, the coworkers, or you might better recognize them as:
blithering dolts
drooling incompetents
slack-jawed yokels
toolsheds
dumb bitches
dumb bastards
slithering reptilians
weasels in the corn
shit-for-brains
worthless motherfuckers
whiny man-bitches
whiny bitches
idiots
morons
lying sacks of shit
pompous jackasses
the contents of the very bottom of the barrel
the stuff you find when you lift the barrel and dig a bit
liberals
the hopelessly unattractive
brainwashed fools
the unwashed
braying jackasses
piles of steaming terrier excrement
wastes of carbon
wackos
the flabby
snaggle-toothed miscreants
Stalin's "useful idiots"
ugly motherfuckers
assclowns
crackwhores
dickheads
fuckups
pieces of shit
inbreds
hideous freaks
vapid untouchables
shrieking hysterical women (male)
shrieking hysterical women (female)
dung beetles
losers
cretins
semi-literati
dirtbags
hypocritical, self-righteous bastards
slimy scumbags
infidels
mental defectives
flea-bitten varmints
Note that in order to keep this list to a reasonable
length, I have only included what popped into my head
in the last minute. A more thorough treatment would
take much longer, and I can only hope that what I have
written here will provide a general sense of what I
see at work.
Yesterday whilst at the concentration camp (or "team-building retreat", whatever), I noticed a recurring theme. These [see list above]s were actually griping about being underpaid! And overworked! Holy fucking shit! These semiliterates that couldn't cut the (proverbial) mustard as entry-level fast food workers have the nerve to bitch about being underpaid, meanwhile they are getting paid to mess around with balloons and construct stuff out of candy, newspaper, and tape. And nary a word was uttered about the irony. These people are actually serious. Not only do they want to be paid more (nothing wrong with that), they actually believe that they are somehow deserving of greater pay. And on that point they couldn't be more wrong. It's like being on another planet. I honestly think that each time these people drop something, they are genuinely amazed that it falls down rather than up. These people are a bunch of [see list above]. I don't think that they would even realize that more money is preferable to less money if they hadn't been indoctrinated in this belief by their puppet-masters.
On a related note, I really need a job. I want to shovel horseshit, but in the literal sense, not the bureaucratic variety. I will provide my own shovel. Please email me if you have any horseshit you would like to have shoveled. No, really, PLEASE!
I've always rather liked Neal Boortz, but I've also rather thought him to be a bit on the nutty side, and thus I found myself entertained and amused by him, but I never read his written words and identified as closely with them as I do to the elegant prose of Walter Williams or Thomas Sowell. Until now.
Last week's was damn good, albeit not without a dark, depressing side. It's basically about how damn stupid people have become and how stupidity is self-perpetuating. A few choice quips:
"I’ve come to the reluctant but inescapable conclusion that about 50% of the adults in this country are simply too ignorant and functionally incompetent to be living in a free society. They have enthusiastically abandoned their sovereignty to the lure of the welfare state. They are, in fact, afraid to be free. They have no working concept of the responsibilities of individuals who would live free of government tyranny or mob rule. Their ignorance renders them incapable of coping with the responsibilities of liberty. These are people who cannot exist at anything other than a basic level without someone else stepping forward to take care of them. They’re adult children. They need to and deserve to live in a dictatorship, hopefully, for their sake, benevolent."
"We’re forced to invest (if that’s the word) 15% of our paychecks into a disability insurance and retirement plan that would constitute criminal activity in every one of the 50 states were it not run by government."
"Freedoms are being lost because of political pandering to those unable to cope."
Sad, but without a doubt, true. I see people every single day with levels of intelligence such that it is truly amazing that they are able to feed themselves and avoid being eaten by feral cats. I'd like to believe that perhaps these folks are able to function because they are actually smarter than they appear, but I'm more inclined to believe that their survival is more likely due accident or dumb luck, and also to the abundance of food available in this country and the fact that humans aren't the preferred prey of feral cats.
This week's column is about public school's and their moronic "zero tolerance" policies. Mr. Boortz cites the case of the kid with the pretend baseball bat that I wrote about awhile back. He took it in a different direction, but it's obvious he shares my opinion of public school administrators and their inspired, ingenious policies:
"Texas: This zero-tolerance idiocy comes from Ft. Worth. Cory Henson plays baseball on the Diamond Hill-Jarvis baseball team. In the trunk of his car is his baseball equipment, including aluminum bats. In the front seat of his car we have a souvenir baseball bat. It is made of wood and 8” long. That’s not as long as a piece of copy paper is wide. Ft. Worth government school officials decide that the 8” bat is a weapon! The real aluminum baseball bats aren’t. I wonder if these school officials know that virtually every car in the student parking lot has a weapon in the trunk. It’s called a lug wrench. Now If you want to clobber someone, which would you choose? The 8” wooden bat or the two-pound steel lug wrench?"
Before anyone accuses me from stealing stuff from Best of the Web, let me just say that I stole this from Best of the Web, and because it is f-ing hysterical. This story is nearly as funny as BigDave3D's toiling away scouring the Web for raunchy Hustler-porn and suggesting that it's some kind of high-minded journalistic pursuit.
Now, James Taranto commented on the story, but I feel that it doesn't really need commentary, so I've just highlighted it a bit.
A Rogers mother says she's upset after her first grader came home with a toy gun. Karen Young says her 7 year old came home with what she called a water gun on the last day of school. Young asked her child where it came from. He told her that his teacher gave it to him. Young says she considers the teacher an excellent educator but says this was a really bad decision on the teacher' part.
Assistant school superintendent Dr. Louise Standridge says the package that the toy came in says the toy is called a water squirter. It's in the shape of a fish. Dr. Standridge says the teacher had been teaching students about animals in the rain forest. "She thought the toy would be an appropriate favor to send the students home with on the last day of school at the end of their fish lesson," says Dr. Standrige. "She feels horrible about this entire situation." Dr. Standridge says the school administration takes every complaint seriously and the Rogers Public Schools regrets if any parent was offended by a teacher's intent to give her students a toy that related to the unit of study that had just been completed in class on rain forest animals.
Young says she has strict guidelines at home and she wants her children to understand that guns are not toys. Young says two of her brothers were shot in domestic disputes, her uncle committed suicide with a gun and she accidentally shot her ex boyfriend when the gun she hit him with went off.
Young says she isn't angry at the school. She just wants to make sure teachers at Lowell Elementary don't consider it appropriate to use toy guns to educate students. 1:29 PM
