I must admit that this post has been tooling about in the ole brain for quite some time. Not necessarily the HUGE EXPLOSIONS and DEATH part, but, from the very moment I starting seeing those vapid "bp" commercials with the strung-out crackhead bitches talking about EPA standards and gas consumption, I've been appreciating their utter stupidity. Before we get into the substance of it, I'd like to address a somewhat related matter that I'm unlucky enough to know something about. BP likes to brag about exceeding EPA standards. And that's certainly a good thing. EPA standards are arrived at through a process about as scientific as somebody extracting them from their ass, with the only difference being the millions of dollars spent on studies. But, as usual, I digress. At first glance, it would appear that BP is actually benefitting the environment out of the good of its collective Limey heart. But there are some pretty damn good incentives for exceeding EPA standards. For instance, exceeding some standards now allows one to not quite meet other standards as soon as would otherwise be required. So what's being presented as an altruistic act could just as easily be interpreted as a smart business strategy undertaken by a big, evil corporation. Whatever. Enough of that.
My advice as an unpaid and unrecognized public relations advisor to BP is as follows: "Shut up! Slink away quietly and stay out of the public eye for a while." Yes, you may be leading the pack in alternative energy yada yada yada, blah blah blah, but the fact remains that your business practices also result in people getting blown up. BP's Texas City refinery just can't seem to keep shit from blowing up. BP pollutes just as much as any of the major oil refiners, yet presents itself to the public as some sort of crunchy-granola bicycle manufacturer, then goes beyond merely spewing out tons of pollutants per year and maintains some pretty damn questionable safety practices. I mean, it's been public information for awhile now that there have been a disproportionate number of accidents at certain BP sites, so the logical step would be to be extra-special careful to avoid so much as a Diet Coke spill. But apparently bullshit commercials targeted at morons are a higher priority.
